You'll need to be patient, and plan things out. But I disowned her a long time ago, and my life has been so much better since I stopped talking to her. I could've let it hurt me, assumed that she was disowning me or no longer wanted to try to mend the relationship. It didn't work, I honestly found it amusing that she did it. She was sending the message that she was done trying to talk to me, a last-ditch attempt to guilt me into calling.
#And now it follows me everyday full
In fact, just recently, she sent me a package full of gifts and pictures I had given her when we were still talking. At a certain point, I started laughing at my mom's antics and attempts to contact me and control me. No matter what you do, realize that no one can control how you think, feel or react to situations. She may even hire a private investigator to follow you (mine did). Mine called the police on me several times, left nasty voicemails on my phone (along with ones in which she was crying and asking me to call her). Be aware that once you are on your own, your mom may find ways to aggravate you. If your mom finds them it will only make the situation worse (make sure your phone is locked so she can't get into it). If you have to, be diligent about hiding progress toward your goals or evidence of your plans. Do what you need to do to plan your future. I'm not sure how old you are or whether or not you are still living at home, but if you have tried to explain to her what you want and why, and shown her why you think this path is right for you, and she still hasn't backed down, there's really no other option than cutting communication or going to a counselor for third-party mediation (which may make the situation worse). I wouldn't be who I am today, if not for my childhood. However, I have forgiven my mother and accepted my childhood for what it was. When you realize you only have about 40 years left on this earth, it changes you. I'm now in my 40s and living through the typical midlife crisis.
I try not to judge anyone, and live by "live and let live." I've tried to be the opposite of my mother in all aspects of my life. Because of this, my daughter and I are very close, and can talk about anything. I have tried my hardest to be the opposite of my mother. If not speaking with my mother gives her the life I never had, then I made the right decision. I have to do what is right for my daughter now.
You stop explaining yourself when you realize people only understand from their level of perception. Everyone's opinion is biased by their own perceptions. As I stated in the intro, this is my story. I have also been told this story is completely one-sided.
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